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Dear Mr. Cricket,
Just wanted to let you know that soon I will find you. You will not be so happy and chirpy when this happens. I have a GEKO living down the hall, in the other room, who is VERY hungry. When I find you - you will become his dinner. I kindly suggest that you HOP on your way.
Sincerely,
The Sleepy, Grumpy Home Owner
P.S. I have posted a photo below of the GEKO eating one of your buddies - just in case you do not believe me!